Missing You
by Black Eyed Demon
Summary: After the Hellmouth is destroyed, Xander misses Anya. Xander/Anya. SPOILERS. CHARACTER DEATH.


**Author's note: CHARACTER DEATH! You have been warned.**

* * *

I miss you.

I miss you so much, it hurts. But it hurts whenever you miss someone, so that's not saying anything.

I miss your constantly changing hairstyles. You just walked into the room with new hair. You didn't give an explanation. After awhile, we stopped asking how or why it happened.

I miss your wide smile. It had many variations. Matter-of-fact, happy, laughing, angry.

I miss your blunt way of speaking. You spoke about anything and everything. Sometimes, you didn't care or notice the effect of your words on other people.

I miss your independence. You stood up for yourself, always. You may not have had the best way of doing it, but you had so much more strength than so many people.

I miss sitting with you, watching a movie. You'd complain about the main characters, the villains, the plot. You'd burrow into my embrace.

I miss your irrational fear of bunnies. You sang about them, dressed us as one on Halloween, according to Giles, you stood on a table to escape them. Andrew said that him saying "Bunnies," gave you the energy to fight.

I miss your obsession with money and sex. Your "Dance of Capitalist Superiority."

"I miss you." That is my thought every morning when I wake up alone. It is my thought at night when I have no one to kiss "Goodnight."

I miss you.

I miss you so much I want to claw at my eye, I want to rip out my graying hair! I miss you, so I punch the walls and stab stuffed bunnies.

I miss the way you'd yell at me. I remember that I ignored you when you did it. I remember walking away from you and you following me, yelling and hitting me. It always happened when we fought. You weren't afraid to talk back, to tell me what to do.

I miss that you accepted everyone. Willow and Tara. Spike. You didn't judge. It was new to me.

I missed the opportunity to tell you I love you, to say sorry.

I missed my chance to get married to you, to have kids, to grow old together.

_I miss you. I miss you. I miss you._

The words drift in my head. They're endless.

Since you left, I've changed. I've become more open to people and ideas. I've become closer to my friends. I've become open about my feelings.

I've hidden myself from the world. I talk to my friends, the Slayers and Watchers, the vampires. My friends buy my clothes and groceries. They pay my bills.

I miss you.

Goddammit, Anya! I miss you so much!

Don't worry, we'll be together again. I promise.

* * *

Xander sat in front of Anya's gravestone. There was no body. It was in Sunnydale. The stone was white and shiny, it looked so new. The grass in front of it was green, freshly mowed. He leaned against it. Thought his T-shirt, Xander felt the cold from the stone seep into his skin. He clutched at it, sobbing.

"I miss you!" he screamed. "Anya! Please come back! I miss you! So much!"

* * *

Buffy and Willow rushed out of the car.

"Willow!" Buffy cried while running. "What did the note say?"

"It said, 'Do not follow me. I miss her. The pain won't go away. I miss her.' That's all it said." Willow replied.

She was running after her friend. Willow was terrified that Xander was going to do something rash.

* * *

"No more pain," said Xander.

* * *

"Buffy! Anya's grave is the other way!" cried Willow.

"What?" asked Buffy.

"Remember the flood last year?" said Willow. "It hit that side of the cemetery pretty bad. We had to move Anya's gravestone."

Buffy didn't reply and ran alongside her friend. The new location of Anya's grave was on the other side of the graveyard, ten minutes from where a car could be left.

* * *

Cut to the right wrist.

* * *

"They have to be fixing the cemetery roads now?" wondered Willow.

* * *

Cut to the left wrist.

* * *

"Gardening? Is it really so important that they have to block our way?" cried Buffy.

* * *

"Buffy, Willow," whispered Xander. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

* * *

"There he is!" Willow pointed to a space a couple hundred yards ways.

* * *

"Here I come, Anya," Xander closed his eyes. "Here I come, baby."

* * *

"Buffy!" yelled Willow, kneeling beside her fallen friend.

Buffy came closer. "What?" she asked.

"Call 9-1-1!" sobbed Willow.

* * *

**Xander Harris**

**January 13, 1981- December 5, 2013**

**They are together now.**

**We miss him.**

**We love him.**

**He is happy now.**

**Good luck, Alexander Lavelle Harris.**

* * *

"Ahn! I missed you! So much!" Xander rushed into his girl's arms.

* * *

**Author's note: Poor Xander. :( or :). He's happy now. I will be if I get reviews. To clear up some confusion, they live in the US, and the comics are disregarded.**


End file.
